My Ex Screwed Me Over

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Breakups are rarely clean, but when someone says “my ex screwed me over,” it typically means the fallout was more than just emotional—it was unfair, unexpected, and often deeply damaging. Whether it’s financial betrayal, emotional manipulation, cheating, or abandonment during a crisis, being “screwed over” by someone you trusted can feel like a punch to the soul.

This article explores the emotional, psychological, and sometimes legal layers of being betrayed by an ex. We’ll look at what this phrase means, the common forms of betrayal it involves, how to process and recover, and how to protect yourself from future mistreatment.

What Does “My Ex Screwed Me Over” Really Mean?

The phrase is emotionally loaded. It’s not just about breaking up—it’s about being wronged in a significant way.

Common Situations That Lead to This Feeling:

• They cheated and lied repeatedly.

• They used you for money, status, or housing.

• They left abruptly during a vulnerable time—illness, pregnancy, job loss.

• They betrayed your trust by exposing private info or spreading lies.

• They manipulated you emotionally only to disappear when it suited them.

• They walked away from responsibilities, such as shared debts, kids, or commitments.

The phrase reflects a breach of trust so deep that it often leaves lasting scars.

Types of Ways Exes Screw People Over

1. Financial Betrayal

• They borrowed money and never paid it back.

• You co-signed a loan or lease, and they bailed.

• They racked up debt in your name.

• They refused to contribute financially during the relationship.

This leaves not just emotional wounds but tangible damage that affects your credit, savings, and peace of mind.

2. Emotional Manipulation

Some exes play with your feelings, make promises they don’t intend to keep, and use affection as a weapon.

• Love-bombing then ghosting.

• Threatening to leave during fights just to control you.

• Using your vulnerabilities against you.

This kind of manipulation can create long-term trust issues and emotional exhaustion.

3. Cheating and Dishonesty

Cheating is a classic way people feel “screwed over.” It’s not just the act—it’s the deception that hurts most.

• Hiding entire relationships.

• Lying about whereabouts, plans, or feelings.

• Betraying someone sexually or emotionally.

This leaves partners feeling replaced, discarded, and humiliated.

4. Abandonment During a Crisis

Some exes leave at the worst possible time, such as:

• After a pregnancy announcement.

• During a health scare or family loss.

• Right after you’ve moved for them or made sacrifices.

This creates a deep feeling of being used and discarded when you were most vulnerable.

5. Social and Public Humiliation

Sometimes the betrayal includes public aspects:

• Posting cruel things online.

• Sharing private photos or messages.

• Turning mutual friends against you.

This kind of betrayal adds a layer of public shame to an already painful experience.

Why Do Some Exes Screw People Over?

1. Narcissism or Lack of Empathy

They simply don’t care how their actions affect you. Some people only care about getting what they want—attention, sex, money—without thinking about consequences.

2. Power and Control

Screwing someone over gives them a feeling of dominance. It’s about punishing you or asserting control.

3. Immaturity

Some people have no clue how to end relationships properly. They ghost, lie, or sabotage instead of taking accountability.

4. Emotional Avoidance

Instead of facing guilt or regret, they hurt you and run. It's easier for them to avoid the emotional consequences of the breakup by acting heartless.

5. Projection and Revenge

Sometimes your ex felt hurt and wanted to hurt you back. Instead of healing, they lash out—intentionally or not.

How to Cope With the Feeling of Being Betrayed

1. Acknowledge the Hurt

Don't downplay it. Say it out loud or write it down: “I was betrayed, and it wasn’t fair.” Suppressed pain only lingers longer.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Angry

Anger is a natural part of grief. It helps your brain process injustice. Express it in healthy ways—write it out, talk to someone, or vent in a safe space.

3. Don’t Seek Closure From the Person Who Hurt You

They probably won’t give you what you need. Closure comes from accepting what happened and choosing to heal anyway.

4. Cut Contact if Necessary

If you’re constantly reminded of the betrayal—via messages, social media, or mutual friends—go no contact. Healing requires space.

5. Talk to a Therapist

If your ex's actions left long-term emotional damage—like PTSD symptoms, trust issues, or depression—therapy can help untangle the pain and help you reclaim your strength.

Rebuilding Trust in Yourself and Others

After being screwed over, you might question everything—even your own judgment. That’s normal.

Steps to Rebuild Trust in Yourself:

• Reflect on red flags you ignored—not to blame yourself, but to learn.

• Journal about what you learned from the experience.

• Reconnect with who you were before the relationship.

• Set clear boundaries in future relationships.

Trust is like a muscle—it can be rebuilt with time and intention.

When to Consider Legal Action

If your ex’s betrayal involved money, property, or abuse, you may have legal options.

Situations That May Warrant Legal Steps:

• They stole from you or damaged your property.

• They incurred debt in your name.

• They violated an agreement (like breaking a lease early or sharing private info).

• They committed defamation or harassment.

Speak to a legal advisor or file in small claims court if the betrayal has financial consequences.

Using the Experience to Grow Stronger

You didn’t deserve to be hurt—but you can still come out stronger. Many people who’ve been betrayed say that after the healing process, they became:

• More emotionally aware

• More selective in future partners

• Better at enforcing boundaries

• More confident in their own resilience

The betrayal doesn’t define you—how you rise after it does.

What to Say When Someone Screwed You Over

You might be tempted to lash out or text them a long message. But it’s rarely satisfying. Here are more empowering ways to communicate (if needed at all):

• “I expected more from someone I once loved.”

• “You didn’t just lose me—you lost the version of me who trusted you.”

• “I’m moving on, and you don’t get to be part of that journey.”

• “You may have screwed me over, but you didn’t break me.”

But often, silence is the loudest message you can send.

Final Thoughts

Saying “my ex screwed me over” isn’t just about heartbreak—it’s about betrayal that changes you. Maybe they lied, used you, humiliated you, or left when you needed them most. Whatever the situation, your pain is valid, and your healing is possible.

You don’t have to forgive or forget what they did—but you do owe it to yourself to heal and move forward. Let the betrayal be a lesson, not a lifelong wound. Turn the pain into power, the scars into stories, and the heartbreak into fuel for becoming the strongest version of yourself yet.