Signs She Is Pretending to Love You Through Text

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In today’s digital age, texting has become a major way people connect emotionally and romantically. Words on a screen can make you feel cherished, missed, and loved—or confused, manipulated, and misled. Unfortunately, some people are good at pretending. They use texting not to show genuine affection, but to keep you emotionally hooked for their own reasons.

This article explores the subtle and obvious signs that a woman may be pretending to love you through text—not out of real feelings, but out of convenience, guilt, or personal gain.

Signs She Is Pretending to Love You Through Text

Her Messages Lack Real Emotion or Depth

If her texts feel cold or generic, she may not be emotionally invested.

• She uses vague, surface-level expressions like “lol,” “aww,” or “nice” often

• She doesn’t respond with thoughtful or emotional reactions

• She never shares anything deep or personal with you

• Her replies feel robotic, repetitive, or forced

Pretending love often involves copying the language of affection—but without the feeling.

She Rarely Initiates Conversations

When someone loves you, they look forward to talking to you. If she’s only responding and never starting conversations, that’s a red flag.

• You’re always the one to say good morning or good night

• She hardly checks in on you or asks how your day went

• Days may go by without her texting unless you reach out

• When you stop texting, she doesn’t follow up

Love creates a desire for connection. If she doesn’t feel that urge, she may be faking it.

She’s Overly Sweet at Convenient Times Only

Pay attention to when she suddenly becomes affectionate.

• She sends hearts or love emojis right after asking for something

• She texts “I miss you” or “I love you” only when she’s bored or needs attention

• Her affection appears when she suspects you might pull away

• She gives sweet compliments just to maintain control over your emotions

Strategic sweetness is often a tactic to keep you emotionally invested.

She Avoids Making Future Plans

A woman who truly loves you wants to make memories together. If she avoids all talk about the future, it’s a sign she’s not serious.

• She dodges questions about meeting up or making plans

• She’s always “busy” but still texts just enough to string you along

• She avoids labeling the relationship

• Her texts never go beyond the “now”

Real love includes intention. Without it, texting becomes a tool to keep things vague and convenient.

Her Responses Feel Copy-Pasted

Does it feel like she’s saying the same things to you over and over?

• Her messages lack detail or don’t respond directly to what you say

• She sends similar flirty or sweet messages at odd or unrelated times

• You catch grammatical errors or formatting that suggest she's texting others the same way

• She uses vague compliments like “you’re just the best” without specifics

When someone is faking affection, they often recycle phrases to maintain the illusion of care.

She Dodges Emotionally Vulnerable Topics

Someone who loves you isn’t afraid to open up. If she keeps things light or avoids intimacy, she may be pretending.

• She changes the subject when things get serious

• She never discusses her feelings for you in detail

• She avoids conflict resolution and uses emojis or one-liners instead

• She brushes off serious concerns by saying “let’s not fight” or “you’re overthinking”

True love involves risk and vulnerability. Pretending involves deflection.

She Gaslights You When You Express Doubt

If you question her love and she flips the blame, it may be a tactic to keep you confused and attached.

• She says “You’re crazy” or “You’re too insecure” when you raise concerns

• She avoids giving you straight answers about where she stands

• She accuses you of being needy when you ask for clarity

• She says “You should know how I feel” but doesn’t show it consistently

Gaslighting is emotional manipulation that helps her keep control while pretending to care.

She Uses Love as a Distraction, Not a Connection

Sometimes, she might say all the right things—“I love you,” “You mean everything to me,” “I can’t live without you”—but the timing is off.

• She says “I love you” to avoid a real conversation

• Her emotional expressions feel like they’re meant to calm you, not connect with you

• She uses affection to escape accountability or to quickly end arguments

• Her timing for declarations of love is too perfect to be sincere

Pretend love often uses words to avoid action.

She’s Hot and Cold—Inconsistency Is Her Pattern

Mixed signals are a classic sign of emotional manipulation.

• One day she texts sweetly, the next she’s cold or unresponsive

• Her tone and interest shift depending on her mood or needs

• She leaves you guessing how she feels from day to day

• She disappears for hours or days, then returns as if nothing happened

Inconsistency keeps you emotionally dependent and constantly seeking her approval.

She Rarely Asks About Your Life

Love involves curiosity—wanting to know about your world, your feelings, your struggles. If she shows little interest in you as a person, her love may not be real.

• She doesn’t ask questions about your day, your job, or your dreams

• She forgets what you told her before

• She keeps the conversation focused on herself

• She gives short or disinterested responses when you share something meaningful

Pretending to love you means faking the role of a girlfriend—without investing in the relationship emotionally.

She Texts Just Enough to Keep You Hanging On

She might not be genuinely invested, but she doesn’t want to lose you either.

• She sends you just enough affection to stop you from walking away

• She ghosts, then texts back when you move on or stop trying

• She gives vague apologies like “I’ve just been going through stuff”

• Her presence in your life feels more like a cycle than a progression

This “breadcrumbing” is emotional bait, not real love.

She Avoids Phone or Video Calls

If everything stays limited to text and she avoids deeper forms of connection, it may be intentional.

• She refuses to voice call or FaceTime

• She always has an excuse for why she can’t talk live

• She texts even when a call would be faster or more meaningful

• She’s emotionally distant in every way outside of messaging

A woman who loves you will want to hear your voice—not just read your texts.

She Makes You Feel Emotionally Exhausted

At the end of the day, how you feel after texting her matters most.

• You feel confused more than comforted

• You’re constantly second-guessing her words

• You feel anxious, insecure, or emotionally drained

• You reread messages looking for reassurance she never really gives

Real love brings peace, not panic. If texting her feels like emotional chaos, it may not be genuine.

How to Handle It

1. Stop Relying on Text Alone

• Suggest phone calls or video chats to deepen the connection

• Invite her to spend real time together

• See if she resists stepping out of the texting-only comfort zone

A real relationship can’t survive on messages alone.

2. Observe Her Effort and Consistency

• Take note of how often she initiates conversations

• Pay attention to how she responds when you stop texting for a while

• Watch her emotional investment—does she care when you're down?

Love is consistent, not conditional.

3. Communicate Your Concerns Directly

• Ask her to be honest about her feelings

• Express how you’re feeling in a non-accusatory way

• Watch how she reacts—defensive, dismissive, or genuinely open?

If she avoids the conversation entirely, that tells you everything.

4. Trust What Her Actions Say—Not Her Words

• Words can be faked, but patterns of action tell the truth

• If she avoids vulnerability, intimacy, and effort, she may be pretending

• Don’t confuse “attention” with “affection”

Love is more than emoji hearts and sweet phrases. It’s care in action.

Conclusion

Pretending to love someone through text is more common than you might think—especially in today’s world of quick communication and emotional detachment. It’s easy to say “I love you” and send flirty messages, but real love shows itself in consistency, emotional vulnerability, and a desire to truly connect.

If you’ve noticed the signs—cold replies, inconsistent affection, shallow conversations, emotional manipulation—it’s time to step back and reevaluate. You deserve a woman who doesn’t just say she loves you, but shows it in every message, every call, and every action.