What To Say When A Guy Says Go Back To The Kitchen

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When a guy says, “Go back to the kitchen,” he’s not making a joke. He’s revealing something—whether it’s outdated thinking, casual sexism, or a misguided attempt at humor. No matter how it’s said—sarcastically, playfully, or with straight-up disrespect—you’re allowed to respond in a way that protects your dignity and reminds him that you’re not here to shrink yourself for anyone.

This kind of comment isn’t just rude—it’s rooted in the idea that women belong in specific, limited roles. So, what you say next can either shut it down, call it out, flip it on its head, or signal that you’re not someone who tolerates disrespect disguised as humor.

When A Guy Says “Go Back To The Kitchen”

There’s no one-size-fits-all way to respond. It depends on who said it, how they said it, where you are, and how much energy you want to give the moment. But no matter the setting, you’re allowed to respond with wit, power, and clarity.

If You Want to Shut It Down Immediately

If the comment made you feel disrespected, belittled, or just plain disgusted, you have every right to end it right there.

Try:

• “Wow. So that’s the level of thinking we’re working with?”

• “Try again, but this time, with respect.”

• “I’m not here to babysit your outdated sense of humor.”

• “Say that again, and I promise you’ll lose access to more than just my cooking.”

• “You're confusing me with someone who entertains that kind of comment.”

This makes it clear that you don’t entertain sexist nonsense—and you won’t stay silent about it.

If You Want to Keep It Calm But Firm

Maybe you don’t want to make a scene, but you do want to make it clear that his words were out of line. A calm, confident response can be just as powerful.

Try:

• “That’s not funny. It’s tired, and it’s disrespectful.”

• “If that’s your idea of humor, I’m out.”

• “Let’s not act like that comment was harmless—it wasn’t.”

• “You really think that’s a good look for you?”

• “I bring more to the table than you can probably handle. Don’t reduce me.”

You’re not exploding—you’re holding your ground with class.

If You Want to Flip It with Sass and Confidence

Sometimes the best clapbacks are the ones that leave him speechless. If you’re feeling bold, use humor and irony to flip the script.

Try:

• “Sure, I’ll go back to the kitchen—right after you go back to the 1950s.”

• “Perfect. I’ll cook, and you can keep proving why I’ll never marry someone like you.”

• “You want kitchen energy? Cool. I’ll serve you boundaries for breakfast.”

• “Aw, are you intimidated by a woman who’s not afraid to be more than your stereotype?”

• “Only if you go back to being relevant.”

Sassy and sharp, these replies sting just enough to make the message clear.

If You Want to Stay Chill and Move On

Not everything needs a dramatic response. Sometimes, you just want to acknowledge the disrespect, shut it down, and keep it moving. That’s okay too.

Try:

• “That’s not the kind of energy I entertain.”

• “Not funny. Try again.”

• “Wow. And here I thought you were better than that.”

• “You really went there? That’s disappointing.”

• “Let me know when you’ve evolved.”

No shouting, no arguing. Just boundaries and grace.

If You Want to Ask Him to Explain Himself

Sometimes the best way to call someone out is to make them sit with what they just said. A simple question can shift the discomfort onto them—where it belongs.

Try:

• “Why did you think that was okay to say?”

• “Explain what’s funny about that. I’ll wait.”

• “Is that how you see women? Or just me?”

• “What reaction were you hoping for, exactly?”

• “Would you say that to your sister? Your mom? Just wondering.”

These questions force him to reflect—or at least realize you’re not the one.

If You Want to Use Sarcasm to Disarm Him

A sarcastic reply can point out how absurd the comment is—without letting it land. You can make it awkward for him instead of taking it on yourself.

Try:

• “Wow, original. Did you Google that from a 2005 forum?”

• “You must be so proud of that one.”

• “Big joke. Big yawn.”

• “What’s next? Asking me to smile more?”

• “Bold of you to speak like that with a microwave meal lifestyle.”

It’s dry, it’s sharp, and it reminds him you’re smarter than his weak attempt at humor.

If You’re Dealing with a Friend or Crush and Still Want to Educate

If someone close to you says it—maybe trying to joke or flirt—and you feel disappointed, it’s okay to respond with honesty, not hostility.

Try:

• “You’re better than that. Don’t use humor to shrink women.”

• “That might’ve been a joke to you, but it hits different on this side.”

• “Just a heads up—those kinds of comments aren’t cute. They’re tired.”

• “It’s not about being sensitive. It’s about not tolerating casual disrespect.”

• “You want my attention? Respect works better than outdated jokes.”

This keeps the door open for growth—if you think he deserves it.

If You Want to Leave Him Speechless

One well-placed line can say everything. No explanation. No back-and-forth. Just straight-up dismissal.

Try:

• “Wow.”

• “That’s all you’ve got?”

• “Yikes.”

• “And you thought that was impressive?”

• “Keep talking, and you’ll stay single.”

It’s the kind of response that lands like a mic drop.

How to Handle It Emotionally

Whether you snap back, stay silent, or educate, the most important thing is honoring your feeling. Comments like “Go back to the kitchen” can stir up irritation, disappointment, and even hurt—especially if they come from someone you liked, respected, or trusted.

Here’s what helps:

– Trust your instinct. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
– Don’t gaslight yourself. You’re not “overreacting.” He crossed a line.
– Choose your peace. Not every comment deserves your full emotional energy.
– Know your worth. A real man won’t reduce you to a gender role.
– Use your voice. Even a short reply can say, “You don’t get to talk to me that way.”

Your power isn’t in how loud you get—it’s in how clearly you draw the line.

Final Thoughts: His Words, Your Standard

When a guy says, “Go back to the kitchen,” he’s showing you who he is. Whether it’s a joke, a jab, or a serious statement, your response has the power to set the tone—and the boundary.

You don’t have to educate every guy. You don’t have to laugh it off. And you don’t have to pretend it didn’t sting if it did.

You get to decide:
– What you tolerate
– What you entertain
– What you walk away from

Because women belong anywhere they want to be—
In the kitchen, the boardroom, the courtroom, the studio, the lab, the stage… and beyond.

And the only place a man like that belongs?
Far from your energy.