Why Would A Guy With A Girlfriend Flirt With Me

Disclaimer: Content is created by humans, AI, or a mix of both. Reader discretion is advised.

It can be confusing, flattering, and even uncomfortable when a guy who already has a girlfriend starts flirting with you. You may wonder what his intentions are, whether he’s serious, or if he’s just playing games. It leaves you with questions about his loyalty — and possibly your own boundaries.

But here’s the truth: when a guy flirts with someone else while he’s in a relationship, it often says more about him than it does about you. Let’s break down the possible reasons he might be acting this way and what you should watch out for.

He Wants Validation

One of the most common reasons a guy with a girlfriend might flirt with you is that he’s seeking validation.

• He may want to feel attractive or desirable outside of his relationship

• Flirting boosts his ego, especially if things have become routine with his girlfriend

• He might enjoy knowing he can still catch someone’s attention

This kind of behavior is selfish and often driven by insecurity. It’s not necessarily about you — it’s about how he feels about himself.

He’s Unhappy In His Relationship

Flirting could be a sign that something isn’t right in his relationship.

• He may feel emotionally or physically unsatisfied with his girlfriend

• Instead of addressing the issue directly, he seeks excitement elsewhere

• He may use flirting as an outlet to escape boredom or frustration

While this doesn’t excuse his behavior, it could mean he's emotionally checked out of his current relationship.

He Likes the Thrill of the Chase

Some men flirt not because they want something serious, but because they enjoy the game.

• He gets a rush from pushing boundaries

• It’s about conquering attention, not connection

• He might be addicted to the thrill of risky behavior

This guy likely flirts with others too — not just you. It’s a pattern, not a one-off moment of weakness.

He’s Testing the Waters

Flirting could be his way of seeing if you’re interested — without directly cheating (yet).

• He might be considering leaving his girlfriend and wants to know his “options”

• He’s checking if you’d reciprocate his interest before making a move

• He’s looking for emotional or physical backup in case his current relationship ends

This behavior is strategic and manipulative. He’s not being honest with either of you.

He Doesn’t Respect His Relationship

At the core of this behavior may be a lack of respect — for his girlfriend and for what commitment means.

• If he’s willing to flirt openly, it shows low regard for his partner’s feelings

• He may view relationships as flexible or temporary

• He might not take loyalty seriously at all

If he’s disrespecting her, what makes you think he won’t do the same to you?

He’s Emotionally Immature

Flirting while in a committed relationship is a sign of emotional immaturity.

• He may not fully understand the impact of his actions

• He might justify his behavior as “harmless fun”

• He lacks the communication skills to address his real issues

This type of guy avoids adult conversations by creating distractions and drama.

He Wants to Have It Both Ways

Some guys want the comfort of a relationship and the excitement of attention from others.

• He may want emotional support from his girlfriend and physical or flirty interactions elsewhere

• He thrives on multiple sources of attention

• He doesn’t want to commit fully to one person

This is the classic sign of someone who is emotionally greedy and afraid to choose.

He Doesn’t Think You’ll Say No

Sometimes a guy flirts simply because he believes you’ll let him.

• He may assume you're flattered or lonely

• He might think you’ll accept whatever crumbs of attention he gives

• He uses charm to blur boundaries

This behavior shows entitlement — and possibly a history of getting away with bad behavior.

He’s Looking for a Backup Plan

Flirting may be his way of lining up his “next option” in case his current relationship falls apart.

• He wants to keep someone interested on the sidelines

• It’s emotional hedging — preparing for a breakup before it even happens

• He might not be ready to be alone

This is a red flag. You’re not a backup plan, and you deserve more than to be someone’s safety net.

He Might Actually Like You

Yes, it’s possible that he genuinely likes you — but he’s going about it the wrong way.

• He may be falling out of love with his current partner

• You might be someone he connects with on a deeper level

• He could be emotionally conflicted and unsure of what to do

But even if he does have feelings for you, flirting while in a relationship is still not okay. Real men take responsibility for their emotions — they don’t start something new while still attached to someone else.

Should You Flirt Back?

Before you consider returning his energy, ask yourself:

• Would you be okay if the roles were reversed — and you were the girlfriend?

• Do you want someone who can’t be faithful, even when committed?

• Are you interested in being someone’s second choice, emotional outlet, or thrill-seeker?

If you flirt back, you’re entering a situation where someone is likely to get hurt — maybe you, maybe his girlfriend, or maybe both.

What Should You Do?

Here’s how to handle the situation with maturity and clarity:

• Set boundaries. Let him know that flirting is not appropriate when he’s in a relationship.

• Be honest with yourself. Are you emotionally interested or just flattered?

• Walk away if needed. If he’s disrespecting his girlfriend now, he could easily do the same to you.

• Don’t feed the drama. Avoid becoming part of a messy love triangle. You deserve better than that.

If You’re Emotionally Drawn to Him

Sometimes, you may feel a connection you didn’t expect. Maybe you like the attention, or maybe you’ve developed real feelings for him. If this is the case:

• Take a step back and consider the consequences

• Ask yourself if you’d trust him if he left her for you

• Remember: relationships built on betrayal rarely thrive

Real love requires respect, honesty, and clean endings — not shady beginnings.

Final Thoughts

If a guy with a girlfriend is flirting with you, he’s already showing signs that he lacks emotional discipline and respect. While it may be tempting to believe you’re special or that your connection is different, keep in mind: how a relationship starts often predicts how it ends.

Flirting isn’t innocent when there’s already a commitment in place. And you’re worth more than being someone else’s secret, side interest, or emotional crutch. Don’t settle for attention when you deserve devotion.

Respect yourself enough to step back — and wait for someone who’s fully available, fully honest, and fully ready to give you the love you deserve.